Strongholds

Strongholds

I think too many people make strongholds out to be a complex subject. Strongholds are merely incorrect thinking patterns. They are patterns in our minds that are programmed to think contrary to the truth.

For example, a common scenario is where a person feels dirty, guilty and is shameful of their past. They are so used to thinking about their past, that it's driven the person to think and feel like a failure! They feel unworthy to have a close intimate relationship with God, which greatly affects their spiritual strength, faith, and relationship with Him. No wonder Satan tries to build such strongholds in our minds!

Name 3 things in the past that you made a bad decision on?

How do you feel that has affected you today?

So how does Satan build these strongholds?

He starts by reminding us of our past failures and sins. He brings up things that we ought not to be dwelling upon, and tries to make us agree with him on how badly we failed. We then have the choice to listen and agree with him, or listen to God's Word (which is telling us that those sins have been washed away). If we take the devil's bait and begin to mediate on our failures, it will begin to pull us down spiritually and strongholds will develop. We will begin to see ourselves as failures because we've taken the bait and chose to meditate on a lie that the devil has fed us!

It is also not uncommon to find a person who picks up a demonic spirit through sin (such as fornication), and that demon uses it's newly gained rights (or ability) in the person's mind to quickly build strongholds. Since the demon is able to influence the person from the inside now, it can get the job done much quicker. This is not an uncommon scenario! Not only does the demonic spirit(s) need to be driven out, but the stronghold also needs to be torn down before the person will experience a complete breakthrough.

Strongholds can and do play a big part of how we feel

If we think we are a failure, we will feel like failures. If you think you're hopeless, you will feel hopeless. If you know you are forgiven, you'll feel clean inside. If you constantly think of your past failures, you will see yourself as associated with them. If you constantly think of how you have been separated from your past when the Blood of Jesus has washed it away, you will feel bright and clean inside. Changing the way you think can make a big difference in the way you feel!

How do we tear down strongholds?

Strongholds are build upon deception and lies that we've accepted into our minds. So how do you counter a lie? How do you counter deception? With the truth. Where do we find the truth? In the Word of God. As we can see in Ephesians, this weapon is known as the sword of the Spirit:

Ephesians 6:17, "...the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

In 2 Corinthians, we are told that our spiritual weaponry is designed to tear down strongholds:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5, "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

This is a great verse that gives us a good idea of how we are to go about tearing down strongholds in our minds. First, since the sword of the Spirit is the offensive piece of our weaponry, it is a great tool for tearing down strongholds. You need to go on the offensive to tear down a stronghold, and the Word of God is the weapon you cannot afford not to use.

So when the devil tries to tell us, "You really messed up, haven't you?"

You need to counter it with, "1 John 3:5 tells me that the reason Jesus went to the cross was to take away that sin! Hebrews 8:12 tells me that even God has chosen to forget my sin!"

Boy does Satan hate that! It reminds him of the days when he tried tempting Jesus:

Satan said to Jesus, "If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." (Matthew 4:3)

But Jesus replied with, "It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4)

What did Satan do? After Jesus did that a few times, he had no choice but to hit the road... his efforts were useless against Jesus! Jesus knew the relevant scriptures to quote, and took away Satan's ability to influence Him!

Let's go back to 2 Corinthians again and see what else it has to say:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5, "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

As we can see, we are told to cast down imaginations. What are imaginations? They are things that we imagine... the devil usually plants them in our minds when he asks us a question that starts out with "What if..." Don't waste your time trying to reason things with the devil. Just throw it out and leave him hanging! Get your mind on God's Word and off of what the devil is trying to tell you.

What else are we told in this verse? We are to cast down every thought that comes into our minds that opposes the knowledge of God. What is the knowledge of God? Since God associates Himself with His Word (John 1:1), if anything comes into our minds that is contrary to God's Word, throw it out! Do not waste your time thinking about it or trying to reason with it. If Satan is trying to tell you that God is not wanting to forgive you, then don't listen to it. Why? Because His Word says otherwise:

Isaiah 30:18, "Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you." (NASB)

Not only does He want to forgive your sins, so that your relationship with Him can be restored, He longs (which means He deeply desires) to do so! One of the last things Satan wants us to know is God's forgiving and loving nature towards us even after we have messed up!

As you can see, strongholds are built on lies and deception. How do you counter such things? With truth! Where do you find truth? In the Word of God! Stop thinking about what Satan has been feeding you, and begin to meditate on God's Word. Take verses in the Bible that run contrary to what the devil's been feeding you, and repeat them to yourself over and over out loud. Think about them often, and meditate on them. The devil got his stronghold built by causing you to meditate on his lies and deception, so if you want to tear down that stronghold, you need to begin meditating on the exact opposite, which is God's Word.

Listening to and reasoning with the things the devil puts in your mind is exactly what he wants you to do. It feed his strongholds when you allow your mind to meditate on Satan's word (opposite of God's Word). Cut him off at the source and say NO to the garbage he's been feeding you, and at the same time turn to God's Word. Begin to feed, meditate upon, think about often and dwell upon on the truth. It will stop Satan dead in his tracks!

It is also possible to have strongholds in place because demonic spirits have attached themselves to you at some point or another, and need to be driven out. If you work hard at tearing down strongholds by applying the truths in God's Word and this teaching, and yet you seem to hit a wall, it may be because a demonic spirit needs to be driven out. It is very possible (and not uncommon) to experience quite a bit of freedom through applying the principals in this teaching even if there is a demonic spirit present, but you will only go so far and feel like you're hitting a wall. That is a sign of a demon at work that needs to be driven out. It can be awfully hard to battle when they are working on you from the inside out. Resisting them from the outside is easy, but resisting them when they are on the inside can be extremely hard. If you seem to have reached an immovable mountain, you might want to consider the possibility of needing to have an unclean spirit driven out.

Things women want men to know

Here are some things women want men to know:

 1. Women need reassurance that they are loved. Men often think that their love should be assumed, that they “closed the deal” when they committed to a relationship. But, to women, it’s not that simple. Most women have a fundamental insecurity about their mates love. They want to know that their man loves them – today! Men, you will be the talk of your woman’s friend’s conversation if you make it a top priority to reassure your mate that you love them…and not just when things are going well, but especially during times of conflict.

2. Women can’t just turn off thoughts that concern them. Think of a computer desktop, with windows open. To close the windows, one just clicks the close box and the window disappears. When it comes to thoughts and emotions, men just click the “close” box and move on (most of the time). Women, on the other hand, may attempt to click the “close” box, but the window won’t close. Their thoughts and concerns about bothersome past and present issues are not easily dismissed. What’s a man to do? Telling your lady, “Just don’t think about it anymore” doesn’t work. Men need to be good listeners and help their lady process their concerns and if possible to help them identify ways to resolve their concerns.

3. Most women value emotional security more than financial security.

Everyone knows women are concerned about the need for financial security in their
life. What many men don’t realize is that most women value emotional security more than financial security. In fact, I found that a woman will endure financial insecurity in order to find emotional security with their mate. Women crave the emotional security that their man presence and connectedness creates. In practical terms, women want their men around them more and will likely be willing to downsize their lifestyle to make it happen.

4. Women want men to hear and validate their feelings, not just the problem at

hand. Most men know that their ladies don’t want them to “fix” their problems. They
want their man to listen. So, why is it that men can listen to their women talk, and still be accused of not listening? It’s because of the difference in the way men and women handle emotions. Men want to discard the clutter of emotions and focus on the problem. But, for women, how they feel about the problem is the real problem. When men listen with an ear to hear, validate and empathize with their ladies emotions about a problem, women feel that they have been heard.

5. Women need reassurance that they’re beautiful and that they rock their
men's world! God has wired women with an emotional need to know that their
men still find them beautiful. In our culture that promotes scantily clad women in all
forms of media, women subconsciously compare themselves to these images and often
find themselves not measuring up. So, when a women asks her man, “Do these pants
make me look fat?” she’s not really asking about the fit of the pants. She’s wondering if
her companion still finds her attractive. Men should make an intentional
effort to regularly remind their women that they find them beautiful!

It's all God! Very True

It's all God!

Inspiring Song! James Fortune and FIYA

He always makes a way! Inspiring Song!!!

Rain, Cry

This is a great video!!!

How to be a man of God: 10 points

What does it mean to be a Godly man today? How can men consciously express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted on the one hand… or wimpy and emasculated on the other? What’s the most loving way for a Godly man to express himself?

Here are 10 ways to live more consciously as a man of God:

  1. Make real decisions. A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life God created. He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path. When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button. A real man knows how to give the situations to God. A man doesn’t require the approval of others just God. He’s willing to follow God wherever he leads him. When a man is following God’s path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him.

2. Put your relationships second. A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker. A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values. Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live the way God intended him too, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above God. Whenever the man sacrifices his relationship with God, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.

3. Be willing to fail. A man is willing to make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing. When a man trusts God, it becomes his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes God and himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, it just a sign that God is helping him grow. A man understands that when he fails without succeeding someone after will succeed, and if he succeeds without suffering another man before him suffered. A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.

4. Be confident. A man speaks and acts with confidence. He owns his attitude. He has an attitude that he knows he is of God’s son. He doesn’t boost about personal attributes he only boost about what God has done. A man doesn’t adopt a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies. A man is willing to be defeated by the world, b/c he knows God has his back. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control, b/c he knows no one can take down God. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting God, he is surely lost. Not that he won’t fear, it’s just that he trust God more than he fears.

5. Express love actively. A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The world does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the floodgates of God’s abundance open. Man is the out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from God, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he is living as his true self.

6. Re-channel sex energy. A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature. A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.) A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.

7. Face your fears. For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with God. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience God’s power. A man makes a friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages them boldly. A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction. A man feels like a man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds of an inner scream.

8. Honor the masculinity of other men. When a man sees a male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend to continue., knowing God has his back. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend spiritual guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop faith, and courage. When you see a man at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well. The male path is filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that are unworthy of him and not of God. A man can handle being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him. A setback is only a setup for a comeback.

9. Accept responsibility for your relationships. A man chooses his friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back. A man doesn’t blame others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or guilt. A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior. A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse. He knows that some people come into your life for a reason, and sometimes only for a season. God has everything already planned out so there is no use arguing with God about your destiny.

10. Die well. A man’s great challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his love through God with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life. A man cannot die well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary, with God is where he belongs. When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.

Relationships

THE RIGHT ONE

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).

Whenever you meet a man or woman, you need to get clearance from God, check out his or her attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship (boyfriend or girlfriend) follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.

Check out the fabric.
Is the person mate material? Does this man or woman have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he or she care what God thinks about his/her behavior? Is he/she accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God? You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he/she want to get married? If you want to be married and your mate isn't interested, don't waste your time. Women: Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.

Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. I suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

Check out his/her friends. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women/men fail to see the connection between a mate and their friends. A man's/woman’s friends tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the persons character that might be hidden when he/she is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his/her best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

Check out the patterns of their life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in their personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he/she embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he/she keep their promises? Is he a man/women of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the mate in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not they are made of the right stuff.

Does this person have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

Complimentary.
Do your talents and gifts complement theirs? Do their gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. . If the person you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he/she see you as the gift that you are? The person in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you are getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!

God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. A woman should be richer in mind, body and spirit for her union with the man of her dreams. The man should make rich deposits into a woman’s heart and spirit, not withdrawals. 10. Does they have a healthy love and acceptance of themselves? Make sure the person in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with themselves. How they cares for themselves is how they will care for you. A persons relationship with God is crucial here. Their love for themselves will only be as strong as their love for God. This is not something that you can impart. A woman cannot be a man’s savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If a man is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your mate can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve.

God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal mate? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free.

The Character of Failure

By Dr. Richard J. Krejcir

Is the Character of Failure working in you? Here is how you can find out. Take a careful look at this character and Fruit of Failure from God’s most precious Word by examining the passages below. Now ask yourself:
1. How do I overcome Failure in my daily life?
2. How can I do to better develop a willingness to learn and grow from understanding Failure?
3. What blocks my learning from Failure from working and being exhibited in me?
4. How can I make overcoming Failure a learning tool for His glory so it can function better, stronger, and faster, even in times of uncertainty and stress?

The character of Failure exhibits an attitude to learn from ones setbacks, mistakes and sin so our failures can become the front door to the road of giving God glory and obtaining success in whatever He has us do. We have no need to fear failure or freak out when life gives us a bumpy ride. Thus, we will not give up where and what we are called to go and do. If God is in control—and He is—then nothing can happen without His permission and accordingly, we can take hold of Him and allow Him to use our circumstances to move us forward.
When we are moving on in confidence and conviction in Christ, we can have real effectual achievement that is also shown to others (Psalm 1:1-3; 37; 73; 75:7;145:14; Proverbs 3:5-10; 24:16; Daniel 2:20-21; Micah 7:7-9; Matthew 6:33; Romans 7:14-20; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Philippians 4:12-13;1 Peter 5:1-6). Pride, Breakdown of hope, Bankruptcy of faith, Refusing to learn from Failure, allowing Failure to be our identity, and Fear are all opposites of God’s call! When we carry out these malevolent traits, we stay in our pride and stray from Christ. We end up trusting in only ourselves or feeble theories and bad council, and thus keep making the same mistakes and sins. In so doing, we may even consider that God does not care or have a plan, when in fact He does. Fear does not take into account the sovereignty of God. God is sovereign even over pagan kings and presidents, over our family, friends, and ourselves. God is absolute; the only fear we should have is our fear and awe of Christ.
Further Questions
1. How would you define or explain Failure to someone who does not understand it? Why would someone allow Failure to become their identity?
2. What part does Failure play in your relationships with fellow church members, friends, coworkers, and family, such as overcoming Failure and growing from it versus letting it become your identity? What would or could block you from overcoming your disappointments and setbacks?
3. How does the fear of lack of faith counteract Failure? What is the cost to the Kingdom of God when we Christians do not strive to overcome our faults or problems?
4. What happens to your relationship with God, with others, and with the opportunities God gives you when you refuse to overcome Failure?
5. When have you exercised Failure the most? How do you practice Failure?
6. In what situation did you fail to overcome Failure when you should have?
7. What issue is in your life that would improve with a more willingness to learn and grow from your Failures? Why would a Christian refuse to learn or grow from life’s mistakes?
8. Think through the steps you need to take to put the overcoming of Failure into action in a specific instance.

For example, what can you do to be more consistent and proactive by learning from your Failure? What can you do to be a person who is focused on the task Christ has given and not the Failures you have experienced? What can your church do to inspire and teach that Failure is not the end of the road but the beginning of the journey as long as Christ is Lord in the pursuit and His precepts followed? Learning from failure is key to moving ahead in our Christian formation and relationship building; if not, we will keep making the same mistakes and still be doing the same things, which many have concluded (rightly so) as insanity! We must expect to have failures and setbacks in a fallen world, we may even fall to sin, so we need to anticipate this, put in accountability and hedges to protect us from sin, and plan for the unexpected. Most importantly, trust in God’s sovereignty and apply faith and diligence to obey Him for a positive outcome. We are to seek God in prayer and in His Word as well as wise counsel with those who are wiser than us; and, in the meantime, trust God. Have you realized that we learn as much from failure, perhaps so much more, than anything else that may come our way? Sometimes life, especially for those of us in pastoral ministry with its stresses and problems of our lives and that of others all converging upon ourselves and family is overwhelming.

We take one step forward only to realize in so doing, we have actually taken three steps back. Yet, somehow in our failures and frustrations, we grow; this is because when we pay attention to why and how we learn and therefore we cultivate and produce a greater depth of character. If you read negative examples, you well see people such as Saul and Nabal who failed and did not learn; and, either their failures judged them or they died by the consequences of their own pride. If they had repented, God would have restored them as He has done to so many. Whereas, in the positive examples, a person made major mistakes either intentionally or unintentionally, yet they realized their error, so they repented. These include such as David and Jehoshaphat and they were restored. We too, face decisions each day and being a fallen human being, we will make mistakes or we will do the best we can and our goal or plan still might not work out. The key is to repent when we error and to learn from our situation so we do not repeat the same mistakes or sin. When it is not a mistake, such as a job loss or tragedy or a professional or personal letdown, we too can discover the implications and options and be prepared to move on. If we do not learn by leaning on Christ as Lord and trusting in Him, how we respond to any future situation will be fated for failure! We will repeat the same insanity, leading us to anger, resentment, bitterness and a continuing life of disappointments.

This is about another character too, that of allowing failure to be our teacher. Learning from setbacks allows us to gain new and better insights to life and to new situations, and to be better, stronger, and more rapidly able to recover in our good pursuits. Thus, we have hope and confidence not to give up; when we are in Christ, we can allow inspiration from His Word and from His Spirit to muse us and when we are impassioned in Christ we do not go wrong. The great Reformation doctrines of Election and Predestination have to do with the fact that God is in control and we are not. So, we should respond with our hardest effort because we need not fear the result. This is not about unrealistic expectations; rather, it is about the practice of faith and confidence in our Lord. When we have the idea that we are not always responsible for the results and when we try our best and obey His precepts, our only concern is the obedience to His call. This applies from witnessing to a stranger to developing a new business plan, from planting a church to talking the time to listen to someone who needs encouragement. Then, out of that trust and faith will come the perseverance to press on to serve Him, and the fear of failure will cease. The ability to take the risk will become more vigorous, and the fears we have will go away. We will face all kinds of trials, as we live in a world of sin—of greed, pride, sickness, sorrow, and hurt that gives us disappointments and frustrations as well as failures. But, the good news is that we have the Lord and Savior of the Universe on our side! So, we can always count everything as joy when we are serving Him the best we can (Phil. 4:4; 1 Thess. 5:16-18; James 1:2).

God is in control over us; however, the specifics of that free will and control may be debated by theologians. All we need to know is that we are responsible as moral agents of our Lord who entrusted us with a call and the ability to make it work. Since God is sovereign, we should not fear going to our neighbor and witnessing, nor should we fear to do what it takes in our leadership responsibility even when we totally fail at it. What can we do when we fail? Look to God and His Word! • Ask, is there sin that caused it? If so, repent (Rom. 7; 1 John 1:8-10; 2:1-2)! • Find out what your flaws are and be willing to work to overcome them (Psalm 119:1-5; James 1:5-8, 22-25)! • Realize that God cares and has a purpose for you even in failure and He will work it out (Psalm 37:23-24; Romans 8:28)! • Do not make excuses; rather, be responsible and make a plan (1 Cor. 10:13; James 1:13; Phil. 4:13)! • Realize that your sin and others’ sin against you will have consequences, but perseverance and repentance are key (2 Samuel 11-12; Luke 22:31-32; 61)! • We also have to be careful not to allow negative or self defeating mindsets to come into us. Such thinking will produce a self-fulfilling prophecy and cement us into a continual life cycle of failure followed by bitterness (Jer. 4:18-20; Rom. 3:14; James 3:13-16)! Our Lord knows us and our situation better then we could ever know. From this knowledge comes the promise of a future that is in our best interest as well as His, so we should trust and obey with a joyful attitude. Keeping our focus where it must be and keeping it off where it does not belong will allow ministry to flourish, our personal lives to succeed, and the disease of sin and repeating of the same mistakes to be eradicated! No Fear of Failure is this: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12b-13

Procrastination

Procrastination is the problem of putting things off. This problem has been around for a long time. For those civilizations that lived in the past they used to use the word PROCRASTINATUS to represent this problem of putting things off. These days we use a derivation of the original latin word - we say "Procrastination".
We all seem to procrastinate on certain things in our life, some however have developed into a art form thinking up quite elaborate excuses as to why they can't do this task today. Some people when they are half way through a boring task (that they never have particularly liked doing) find themselves positively willing someone to ring their phone or come to the front door so that they have an excuse not to continue with the uninspiring task! The bad thing is that procrastination can become a habit and a way of life effectively stopping us from achieving those goals that we have set ourselves in life. Procrastination can be reason behind our failures Time is a valuable resource because we all have been allocated only our 70 years give or take a few years. As we live our lives we find that time passes on relentlessly in a fixed rhythm: 60 seconds every minute, 60 minutes every hour. Once time has passed we can never get it back. It's gone forever. Time is an equally shared resource. We all have 24 hours every day and seven days every week. This 24 hours each one of us has each day is a resource that is filled with opportunities to grow in our knowledge, serve our God and be productive in his service. But as we all know to different extents, it is very easy to waste time and let life slip away. Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.

Proverbs Ch.10:4-5 NIV This verse contrasts laziness with hard work. We should avoid being the lazy person who sleeps and wastes away the hours which were meant for productive work. Time is a gift from God and we should use it as an opportunity to live industriously for Him. An unproductive lifestyle comes from procrastination Laziness can lead into a never ending spiral to disaster. The less people do, leads to them wanting to do even lesser until they become completely useless. The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!" As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed. The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth. The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly.

Proverbs Ch.26:13-16 NIV If a person doesn’t want to work then they will find numerous excuses to avoid it. But we can overcome laziness if we truly want to! How do we do this? 1. Each day take a few small steps toward becoming more diligent in our duties. 2. To motivate ourselves, set a solid goal but make sure it is realistic. 3. Work out the steps you need to take to achieve that goal. 4. Then make sure you follow those steps. 5. As you head towards that goal pray for persistence and strength. 6. Avoid making excuses as you travel towards that goal. Underlying problems can be revealed by procrastination If we continue putting things off it can mean we lack discipline, are poor time managers and sometimes are disobedient to God. So Joshua said to the Israelites: "How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers, has given you?

Joshua Ch.18: 3 NIV Joshua asked the Israelites why they were putting off possessing the land. People delay things sometimes because the task is boring, difficult, seems large or is disagreeable. When we feel this way we need to seek encouragement from others, concentrate fully on the task at hand, get others to help you in a team, and always remember that you are accountable for the end result. Also procrastination can just lead you to taking twice as long to achieve the task!! When you find you are starting to procrastinate remember these points. Overcoming procrastination in the life of a believer If you are a believer in God then we cannot afford to procrastinate on preparing ourselves for return of the Lord Jesus Christ. We must not put to tomorrow what can be done today. For the past five years, have you been thinking about visiting the elderly at a retirement home? Don't put it off any longer! Make arrangements to make your first visit next weekend. Have you been looking at that study text on Revelation sitting on your book shelf, thinking how nice it would be to really find out what this book of Revelation is all about - you bought the study text eight years ago and have walked past the shelf it sits on roughly three times a day - that means you have passed that book roughly nine thousand times since you bought it - isn't it time that you get it done off the shelf brush off eight years worth of dust and start reading it! It may be the thing which will help make you that acceptable sacrifice unto the Lord Jesus Christ. The danger of procrastination - Tomorrow may never come James talks about procrastination: Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

James Ch.4:13-14 NIV Our life is in God's control, we cannot presume to make future plans with any certainty. It would be foolish of us to put off doing something important for God until some future date, for that date may never come. Life is like James says, a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. It is too short to put off placing yourself into the position that may make us acceptable to enter that kingdom soon to be set up on this earth. We must always remember that life is not man's eternal possession. It is a thing that our Heavenly Father controls. The Lord Jesus Christ illustrates this point very succinctly in the parable of the rich fool. And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

Luke Ch.12:16–21 NIV This man was a man making self-satisfied plans not only for the immediate future but also for a long comfortable retirement, and then all of a sudden at once a fatal command : "This night thy soul shall be required of thee". The man in this parable thought that the division of the inheritance was essential to his life, but Jesus says that a man's life does not consist in wealth. A man is what he is, not what he has. Jesus says : Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.

Luke Ch.12:15 NIV True wealth is tied to the relationship with God. You will truly live a fulfilled life if you know God. For it is with him that the true treasure will be found. So we shouldn’t waste what short time God has given each one of us by amassing wealth. Rather let's use this time to amass an knowledge of God’s plan for this world. For after all when a man is stripped of all the worldly wealth so that he only possesses what he had when he was born, will he be poor or rich ? A day of judgment is coming where God will reveal the real poverty or wealth of a man. Time is moving quickly past so let us not waste our lives away worrying overly about the cares of this world but rather let us use the short time we have to make ourselves ready for the return of Christ. Don't let us fall into the trap of putting off to tomorrow what can be done today. For we may find that one day there will be no tomorrow. Principles of good time management So that we make every minute count in our lives here are some techniques that may help with time management:
1. Change the way you think - plan to enjoy the activities you need to do.
2. Control your time – reduce interruptions when you are doing a set task.
3. Prepare a “to do” list and prioritize your tasks by giving them values. Give each task a value of A, B, C or D. A the task must be done and promptly. B the task should be done soon C the task can be delayed without any major problem. D the task is not necessary
4. Set yourself goals. Make sure they are attainable and have a deadline when they must be achieved. Write the goal down so that it is clear what you need to achieve. Work out the steps necessary to achieve that goal.
5. Complete the task on time. If you set yourself a goal to do it by next Friday then ensure you meet that deadline.
6. Use tools wisely. There are many tools in this modern age that can assist us to manage our time.

An obvious example is a computer and the software that goes with it. Make sure you use these tools wisely. Summary By changing our attitude towards our work and doing it energetically unto God, we will find that tasks that once seemed boring and tiring take on a new meaning. By changing our attitude, we can learn to tackle them with enthusiasm for the sheer joy of seeing them get accomplished. Let us change our mood and stop putting off the things we ought to be doing. Let us “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” and all other things in life will fit in their proper place.

Prayer

Let's get very, very basic and very, very practical about prayer. The single most important piece of advice I know about prayer is also the simplest:   Just do it!

How to do it is less important than just doing it. Less-than-perfect prayer is infinitely better than no prayer; more perfect prayer is only finitely better than less perfect prayer.

Nancy Reagan was criticized for her simple anti-drug slogan: "Just say no." But there was wisdom there: the wisdom that the heart of any successful program to stop anything must be the simple will to say no. ("Just say no" doesn't mean that nothing else was needed, but that without that simple decision nothing else would work. "Just say no" may not be sufficient but it is necessary.)

Similarly, no program, method, book, teacher, or technique will ever succeed in getting us to start doing anything unless there is first of all that simple, absolute choice to do it. "Just say yes."

The major obstacle in most of our lives to just saying yes to prayer, the most popular and powerful excuse we give for not praying, or not praying more, or not praying regularly, is that we have no time.

The only effective answer to that excuse, I find, is a kind of murder. You have to kill something, you have to say no to something else, in order to make time to pray. Of course, you will never find time to pray, you have to make time to pray. And that means unmaking something else. The only way to install the tenant of prayer in the apartment building of your life is to evict some other tenant from those premises that prayer will occupy. Few of us have any empty rooms available.

Deciding to do that is the first thing. And you probably won't decide to do it, only wish to do it, unless you see prayer for what it is: a matter of life or death, your lifeline to God, to life itself.

Is this exaggerated? Are there more important things? Love, for instance? We need love absolutely; but the love we need is agape, the love that only God has and is; so unless we go to God for it, we won't get it. And going to God for it means prayer. So unless we pray, we will not love.

Having got that clear and having made prayer your number one priority, having made a definite decision to do it, we must next rearrange our lives around it. Rearranging your time, preparing time to pray, is like preparing your house to paint. As everyone knows who has done any painting, preparation is three-quarters
the work, three-quarters the hassle, and three-quarters the time. The actual painting is a breeze compared with the preparation. The same is true of prayer: the hardest step is preparing a place, a time, a sacred and inviolable part of each day for it. Prayer is like Thanksgiving dinner. It takes one hour to eat it and ten hours to prepare it. Prayer is like Christmas Day: it took a month of preparation, decoration, and shopping to arrange for that one day. Best of all, prayer is like love. Foreplay is, or should be, most of it. For two people truly and totally in love, all of their lives together is foreplay. Well, prayer is like spiritual love-making. God has waited patiently for you for a long, long time. He longs for you to touch the fringe of his being in prayer, as the woman touched the hem of Christ's garment, so that you can be healed. How many hours did that woman have to prepare for that one-minute touch?

The first and most important piece of practical preparation is scheduling. You absolutely must schedule a regular time for prayer, whether you are a "scheduler" with other things in your life or not. "Catch as catch can" simply won't work for prayer; it will mean less and less prayer, or none at all. One quick minute in the morning to offer your day to God is better than nothing at all, of course, but it is as radically inadequate as one quick minute a day with your wife or husband. You simply must decide each day to free up your schedule so you can pray.

How long a time? That varies with individuals and situations, of course; but the very barest minimum should certainly be at least fifteen minutes. You can't really count on getting much deep stuff going on in less time than that. If fifteen minutes seems too much to you, that fact is powerful proof that you need to pray much more to get your head on straight.

After it becomes more habitual and easy, expand it, double it. And later, double it again. Aim at an hour each day, if you want radical results. (Do you? Or are you only playing?)

What time of day is best? The most popular time—bedtime—is usually the worst possible time, for two reasons. First, it tends not to be prime time but garbage time, when you're the least alert and awake. Do you really want to put God in the worst apartment in your building? Should you offer him the sickest sheep in your flock?

Second, it won't work. If you wait until every other obligation is taken care of first before you pray, you simply won't pray. For life today is so cruelly complicated for most of us that "every other obligation" is never taken care of. Remember, you are going to have to kill other things in order to pray. No way out of that.

The most obvious and usually best time is early in the morning. If you can't delay the other things you do, you simply must get up that much earlier.

Should it be the very first thing? That depends. Some people are alert as soon as they get up; others need to shower and dress to wake up. The important thing is to give God the best time, and "just do it."

Place is almost as important as time. You should make one special place where you can be undisturbed. "Catch as catch can" won't work for place either.

What place? Some people are not very sensitive to environment and can even use a bathroom. Others naturally seek beauty: a porch, yard, garden, or walk. (I find praying while you take a walk a good combination of spiritual and physical exercise.)

You probably noticed I haven't said a word about techniques yet. That's because three-quarters is preparation, remember? But what about methods?

I can only speak from my own experience as a continuing beginner. The two most effective that I have found are very simple. One is praying Scripture, reading and praying at the same time, reading in God's presence, receiving the words from God's mouth. The second is spontaneous verbal prayer. I am not good at all at silent prayer, mental prayer, contemplative prayer; my thoughts hop around like fleas. Praying aloud (or singing) keeps me praying, at least. And I find it often naturally leads to silent prayer often, or "mental prayer," or contemplation.

Most advice on prayer focuses on higher levels: contemplative prayer. But I suspect many of my readers are prayer infants too and need to learn to walk before they can run. So these are some lessons from one man's prayer kindergarten. Let's "just do it" even if "it" is only crawling towards God.
 

Less Association

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are...Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere...With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. "A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. "The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad. Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above. "In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends. "Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them. "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.

How to Do Quiet Time – Time Alone with God

How to Do Quiet Time – Time Alone with God Quiet time is one of the most essential aspects of your Christian life. Many Christians take some time reading the bible every day. While it is very useful, just reading the bible will not lead you to much fuller Christian walk with Christ. You need to spend time in his words, study and learn from it every day. Without daily regular quiet time, our spiritual life can be seriously malnourished just as our body can be mal-nutritioned without proper food and water! I often wonder when people talk about forgetting to do their quiet time due to busy schedule; I have never found anybody who forgot to eat for a day due to work! Here I am presenting simple steps for how to do your daily quiet time. quiet time, how to do Time: Quiet time should be about 10-15 minutes long. You can choose time according to you schedule. For some, morning works better, for others, night may work well. While, I recommend the morning time as you are much calmer and fresh, any time can work fine. It is also important to set fixed time every day, as it brings discipline and consistency. What do you need? Your bible, note and pen. You can occasionally refer to bible commentary or dictionary for difficult passages of bible (Free bible study resources). But I would recommend studying bible as it is and ask God for his guidance to understand the passage. It is a very good practice to take notes in your quiet time. You will be amazed when you will see your quiet time notes years later! How To do Quiet Time? * Start with prayer: o Spend just few minutes in worship and thanksgiving. o Spend some time in asking God for forgiveness for our sins. o Ask for his guidance in today’s quiet time * Passage for Quiet time: It is good to select any book of bible and read it continuously. It will help you to get the whole picture and can enjoy your quiet time more. Select about 8-10 verses, don’t select whole chapter, as you may not be able to cover it all. Select small paragraph according to passage. * Read the paragraph for 2-3 times. This bible study method is also called ASPECT method. From the paragraph, ask following questions. o A – About God – What can you learn about God through this passage? o S – Sin – Does it talk about any sin? o P – Promise – Is there any promise in the word? o E – Example – Is there any example, I can follow? o C –Command – Which command I need to obey? o T – Teaching – What can I learn from this passage? * Concluding Prayer: o Thank God for his guidance in quiet time o Worship God for his characteristic o Pray for deliverance from any sin o Ask for strength for the day.

How to Change Yourself

How to Change Yourself: A Bible Pattern for Self-Help and Self-Improvement We must remove old habits and develop new ones. This study considers Bible principles to help us improve ourselves: faith, love, repentance, Bible study, prayer, avoiding temptation, and patience. God's word is the best source of guidance for self-help and motivation for self-improvement. Introduction: Have you ever had difficulty trying to change a habit? Human beings are creatures of habit. We tend to continue acting as we have acted in the past. Like a river flowing through a canyon, the longer a habit continues, the more deeply it becomes ingrained, and the harder it is to change. This is true of all habits, good or bad. Ephesians 4:22-24 shows that major changes must occur when we are converted to serve God. Old practices and attitudes must be replaced by new ones. Christians must learn good habits like Bible study, prayer, love, faith, patience, attending church meetings, giving, teaching others, etc. We must also eliminate bad habits like foul language, uncontrolled temper, gambling, drugs, smoking, drinking, gossip, lying, pornography, sexual promiscuity, etc. Knowing what changes to make is not enough. We also need to know how to make them. Change does not come easily. Since the Scriptures provide us to all good works (2 Timothy 3:16,17), they give all the guidance we need. God's word is the best source of guidance for self-help and motivation for self-improvement. Let us study 12 specific, practical steps the Bible gives to show us how to change and improve our selves to become what God wants. ________________________________________ Step1: Change Your Purpose in Life. ________________________________________ Before people are willing to act, they must be motivated. A sound sleeper is more likely to get up in the middle of the night if the house is on fire than if he remembers he did not brush his teeth! Christians have some of the strongest possible motives for changing. Consider some: Love and Dedication to God Romans 12:1,2 - Christians are transformed (changed) by renewing their minds (cf. Eph. 4:23). To live differently, we must think differently. We must not seek to be like the world but to use our bodies in God's service. The Macedonians practiced generous giving because they first gave themselves to the Lord (2 Corinthians 8:5). Changing our conduct becomes much easier when we are totally dedicated to God's service. (See also Ecc. 12:13; Matt. 6:33; 16:24.) 1 John 5:3; 4:19,9 - What motivates us to obey God? Our love for Him. What motivates us to love Him? The fact that He loved us. How do we know He loved us? Because He gave His Son to die to save us. Love is one of the strongest forces in existence. It can move a woman to rescue her children from a burning building or a man to lift an automobile that has crushed a loved one. If you are having difficulty changing yourself, you need to learn to appreciate God's blessings and mercy. (See also 1 John 2:15-17; Matt. 10:34-37; 22:37-40; John 14:15; 2 Cor. 5:14-17.) Imitation of Christ The desire to be like someone we admire is another powerful motivation. Sports heroes inspire young people in athletics. Washington and Lincoln are models for patriotic citizens. So godly people like Abraham, Noah, Ruth, and Mary motivate us to serve God. But the greatest example of all is that of Jesus. Matthew 10:24,25 - A disciple seeks to be like his master. Christians are disciples of Jesus (Acts 11:26). We should follow His steps because He left us a sinless example (1 Peter 2:21,22). As we face each decision in life, we should ask, "What would Jesus do?" This will give us strong motivation to change our lives. (See also Gal. 2:20; Matt. 16:24; Col. 3:10). Desire for Eternal Life, Not Eternal Punishment 1 Corinthians 9:25 - Athletes control their habits so they can win a temporary, earthly honor. Christians have an even stronger motive. We seek the crown of eternal life (James 1:12; Rev. 2:10). We should set our minds on our eternal reward, not on earthly things (Col. 3:1-6; 2 Peter 1:10,11; 2 Thess. 1:8,9). Lack of motivation is a major reason people do not change to please God. They do not have sufficient desire to change. Instead they want to please themselves or their friends and family. Often they are too concerned with the things of this life. Until our motives are right, little else in this study will help us. But when we are determined that serving God is our most important purpose in life, then we will find the means to make the necessary changes. When we lack the motivation to change, let us think about why we should love God, think about the importance of being like Christ, and think about our eternal destiny. ________________________________________ Step2: Believe You Can Change with God's Help. ________________________________________ Proverbs 4:23 - Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. The way you act is determined by your attitudes and intentions. People and circumstances may influence you, but you do not have to give in. You do what you decide to do (cf. Matt. 15:18,19; 12:34-37). 1 Corinthians 10:13 - God will not allow temptations that are beyond your ability to bear. He will always make a way of escape. "God is faithful." He will always keep this promise. It follows that you can break any bad habit and develop any good habit according to God's will. Philippians 4:13 - We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. This includes changing to please Him. If we trust our own strength, we will fail. Satan can defeat us. If we use Christ's strength we will succeed, because Satan can never defeat Him. Perhaps we have failed in the past because we have trusted our own power instead of using Christ's. People sometimes convince themselves, "I just can't change. It's too late. Besides, I'm only human." They are not just belittling themselves; they are denying God's word. They will fail simply because they will give up instead of persisting to use God's power. Psalm 37:5 - If you commit yourself to the Lord and trust Him, He will accomplish His will for you. No matter how strong a temptation you face, no matter how long you have practiced a sin, if God says to change, you can change. (See also Eph. 6:10-18; 3:20,21; 2 Cor. 9:8; Josh. 1:5-9.) ________________________________________ Step 3: Study the Bible about Your Habit. ________________________________________ Joshua 1:8 - To succeed in God's work, meditate on God's word. List the pertinent Bible passages about each habit you need to change. List reasons why you should change. Meditate on these verses daily, filling your mind with them. (Cf. Psalm 1:2; 119:11.) Deuteronomy 6:6-9 - Frequently remind yourself of these verses. Write them and place them where they will remind you: on your bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator door, on your table at mealtime, on the TV knob. Matthew 4:1-11 - Jesus overcame temptation by quoting Scripture. But this worked only because He knew the Scripture. Memorize verses about your habit so that, when you are tempted, they will come to mind and strengthen you. Quote them to yourself and to those who tempt you. (See also Prov. 3:5,6; 2 Tim. 3:16,17; Eph. 6:17; Rom. 1:16; Heb. 4:12.) ________________________________________ Step4: Repent of Sin. ________________________________________ Acts 8:22 - Sin requires repentance. Repentance is a change of mind - a determined commitment to cease sin and obey God (see Matt. 21:28,29; Acts 17:30; 11:23). Before one can change his conduct, he must change his mind. Proverbs 28:13 - Do not cover up your sin, deny it, excuse it, or blame someone else. Admit the error and be truly sorry (2 Cor. 7:10). But sorrow is not enough. We have truly repented only when we are so sorry that we determine to change our conduct. Most other achievements in life require about 10% ability and 90% just plain determination and hard work. In spiritual matters, every accountable person has the ability to please God; so changing to please God is 100% determined by our choice. God has provided everything we need. The decision is ours. We will never change until we make up our minds to pursue the means God provides until we succeed. The decision to do this is repentance, and no one will change to please God without it. ________________________________________ Step 5: Develop a Plan of Action. ________________________________________ Proverbs 14:22 - We must devise to do good, not evil. God's example demonstrates the importance of planning. He purposed man's redemption (Rom. 8:28), the church (Eph. 3:10,11), the temple (Heb. 8:5), etc. (cf. Gen. 12:1-7). Likewise, God's servants need to have a plan to succeed in His service (Luke 14:26-33; Dan. 1:8; Psalm 17:3; Acts 11:23; 2 Cor. 9:7). In what other important endeavors will we succeed without a plan? Consider the forethought needed to build a house, run a business or a household, program a computer, etc. Worthwhile activities, to be successful, need planning. Likewise, to change your life, you need a specific, practical checklist of steps you will take to change. Analyze the circumstances or causes that lead you to fail to do right, then plan how to avoid those causes. It may help to write your plan down and modify it as needed. This plan will include some specific points we are studying plus other points that fit your specific problem. Many people fail to change to please God because they never planned to succeed. They did not plan to fail, but they failed to plan! ________________________________________ Step 6: Pray Regularly. ________________________________________ Prayer is essential in two ways. A child of God should pray for forgiveness. If you are not yet a child of God, you need to believe in Jesus, repent of sins, confess Christ, and be baptized to be forgiven of sins (Mark 16:16; Rom. 10:9,10; Acts 2:38; 22:16). When you have done those things, you become a child of God (Gal. 3:26,27; Rom. 6:3,4; 1 Peter 1:22,23). If you sin afterward, you need to pray for forgiveness (Acts 8:22; 1 John 1:8-10; Prov. 28:13; Matt. 6:12). Then pray for God's help. Matthew 6:13 - Ask God to "deliver us from evil" (cf. Matt. 26:41). Tell God exactly what your problem is. Pray often and regularly (1 Thess. 5:17; Col. 4:2). Pray especially at the moment when you face temptation (Matt. 26:36-46). God has promised that, if you ask His help, He will hear and answer (1 Peter 5:7; Phil. 4:6,7; Eph. 6:11,13,18). ________________________________________ Step 7: Seek Help from Other Christians. ________________________________________ James 5:16 - Christians should confess their faults to one another so they can pray for one another. We should bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2). If our sins have harmed specific individuals, we should apologize to them (Matt. 5:23,24). When we are fighting an especially difficult habit, it may help to choose one or two special counselors to talk with regularly. They can give us Bible passages and good advice about how to change. They can encourage us. It may motivate us just to know that others are aware of our problem. And they can surely pray for us. Public church meetings are especially designed to give encouragement (Heb. 10:24,25; 3:12,13; Eph. 4:15,16). We need to attend regularly for many reasons, but especially we need encouragement as we try to become what God wants us to be. ________________________________________ Step 8: Diligently Practice What is Right. ________________________________________ 1 Corinthians 15:58 - Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the Lord's work. Abundant, steadfast work is needed. We have discussed several steps to prepare us to change, but none of them can substitute for hard work and dedicated effort. All the good attitudes in the world will not get the job done until we follow through with action. God does not promise change will be easy, but He promises it is possible if we work diligently according to His word. James 1:22-25 - Be doers of the word, not just hearers. Habits are formed by repeated action. We learn to ride a bicycle by forcing ourselves to practice, even when it feels unnatural and uncomfortable. But repetition produces a habit that then feels natural and enjoyable. So we change to serve God only when we compel ourselves to do what we know is right and repeat it until it becomes "second nature." (See also Rom. 6:1-23; Matt. 7:21; Luke 6:46.) ________________________________________ Step 9: Substitue Good Habits for Bad Ones. ________________________________________ Ephesians 4:22-32 - Do not just put off the old man. Put on the new man. Note the examples: Speak truth instead of falsehood (v25), work and give to others instead of stealing (v28), speak good instead of evil (v29), show kindness and forgiveness instead of anger and bitterness (v31,32). Matthew 12:43-45 - A demon left a man but later found the man's life still empty. He moved back in bringing seven other demons with him! Jesus applied this to Israel, but it is a general principle. "Nature hates a vacuum." Remove the air from a bottle, and it will try to get back in. Fill the bottle with something substantial, and the air stays out. So your life cannot stay a spiritual void. It will fill with good or evil. Replace bad habits with good and the bad is less likely to return. For example, suppose you determine to watch less TV, so you turn it off, but sit in front of it with nothing else to do. Soon you will turn it on again. But if you become actively involved in family activities, Bible study, etc., soon you will replace it with other habits. For every bad habit you "put off," find some useful activity to "put on" in its place. ________________________________________ Step 10: Avoid Temptation. ________________________________________ Matthew 6:13 - We should pray, "lead us not into temptation." If we pray this, surely we obligate ourselves to avoid people, places, and situations that tempt us (cf. Rom. 13:14). 1 Corinthians 15:33 - Evil company corrupts good habits. Note: "Do not be deceived." Many people think they can return to bad company without returning to bad habits. They are deceived! Many habits - such as drinking, smoking, drug abuse, gambling, and sexual promiscuity - are begun and continued because of "peer pressure." Breaking such habits by themselves is hard enough, but it is far more difficult when "friends" urge us to continue them (1 Peter 4:3,4; Prov. 13:20; Ex. 23:2). Psalm 26:5 - We should hate the congregation of evildoers. Too often people say, "I won't drink (or dance or gamble, etc.). I'll just go to the tavern (or dance hall or casino) to be with my friends." When people have gathered together for the purpose of practicing sin, Christians belong somewhere else! (Cf. 2 Cor. 6:14-18; Eph. 5:11.) You cannot change a bad habit while continuing to run with the "crowd" that caused the habit. Changing the habit will require changing your friends because the "friends" are part of the habit! ________________________________________ Step 11: Face One Day at a Time. ________________________________________ Matthew 6:33,34 - Do not worry about tomorrow. Today's temptations will be enough to handle today. Handle tomorrow's temptations tomorrow - if tomorrow comes. Often people quit trying to serve God because they are overwhelmed by the sacrifices required to live the rest of their lives for God. But ask yourself this: "Can I practice what is right today - just today?" Of course you can. So when you get up each morning, promise yourself and God, "I will live today for God." Don't worry about handling tomorrow. If it comes, you can handle it the same way you will handle today. Two men were climbing a steep path up a tall mountain. One looked to the top and asked, "How will we ever make it?" The other replied, "One step at a time." And that is the only way for you to change yourself. ________________________________________ Step 12: Be Patient. ________________________________________ Romans 2:7 - We receive eternal life if we continue patiently in well doing. We must be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the Lord's work (1 Cor. 15:58). Galatians 6:9 - Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Your habits did not develop overnight and will not likely disappear overnight. It will take time. If you fall, repent, and ask God's forgiveness. But get up and go on. Do not give up. (1 John 1:8-2:2) 2 Peter 3:18 - Becoming a mature Christian is a process of growth. You are born again as a baby and gradually grow up in Christ. You may look at mature Christians and think, "Why can't I be like them?" But they probably took years to mature. Do not be impatient with yourself. As a child grows, you may notice small changes from day to day. But look at pictures from years ago and you will see amazing differences. So you may not see much change in your service to God today compared to yesterday. But if you diligently apply the steps taught in God's word, after a period of 5, 10, or 20 years you will see significant changes compared to where you began. Conclusion By using the means God provides, you can change to be what He wants. He gives motivation, guidance, and encouragement. All that is left is for you to determine to follow His will and then diligently act on that decision. He provides the tools. You must use them. What choice will you make?